Seeing Gender

Immediately when I read about this topic, I thought about my AP Psychology class in high school.  We went through this lesson about the differences between gender identity, gender role and gender...well, there was a third term, but I can't remember now.  They were all different, showing how one identifies themselves, how others identify them, and how they externally depict themselves.  It was all very confusing, but very interesting.  They all had profound differences that were almost hard to see at first.  All of these psychological ways we identify ourselves and others is important to shaping a gender identity.

Now tying this into the media makes the gender question even more broad.  It includes all of these outside influences that help form the most basic kind of self-identification. One would think that it was something the media has no influence on, but it does.

The media is always challenging, questioning and shaping what it means to be a female.  Advertisers take stereotypical approaches to appeal to what many women have in common.  Whether it is shopping for the right clothes, or searching for the right cleaner, we are being told how to clean and what we should wear and how to do it.  Television shows like "What Not To Wear" focuses mainly on women showing what people should be wearing and what they shouldn't.  I agree with the show on a certain level because society wants people to look a certain way, but do clothes and makeup really matter? Why is everyone so happy when these ladies put on high heels, makeup and get their hair blow-dried.  Women need to dress to show off their figure and dress in the latest and classiest trends.  Why do we have to show off our figure?  Just so everyone knows we are women?  Is it really all based on appearance?  I would hope not.  But it is, and we have accepted it.

Speaking of society, the media has shaped what society should think.  We make a big deal when women preserve their youth, and tear them down when they wear "ridiculous" clothes. We, as women, see this and know what side of the society spectrum we want to be on.  We want to look young and we want to be applauded on such personal choices.  We have been trained that we should look young and glamorous because that is how females are supposed to look.  The media plays up these ideas with movies, magazines, shows, critics and more.  We have totally turned around how women are seen as and what it means to be female.  It seems to be more complex than ever thanks to the media.

Forming a Style

No one can say that they do not care how they look or what they wear.  You have to have some opinion on it if you are going to wear it.  Everyone has a style, even if that means they really don't have style. But what does it mean to have style, and who decides what is stylish?  Fashionistas in New York?   Heidi Klum?  No one has claim.  When it comes to clothes, there are general guidelines that are laid out by society as to when to look professional, and when to be casual, and when to dress up.  Through each of these times, one's style shows and it communicates a message.

I could not describe my style in one category.  I am basic but I can be flashy, I am simple but I like to accessorize.  I am pretty conservative, but not stingy.  I dress day to day depending on how I feel.  However, these general patterns do exist in my entire closet.   I love black and color, stripes and solids, it all just depends.  I know what colors to wear and what not to wear.  

I think that how we use clothes to communicate is mostly in our subconscious.  It is not always easy to pinpoint why we like something- we just know if fits well within us.  But, as I have discovered, what I like has a lot to do with what may be "in fashion".  Back in middle school, I hated jeans that didn't flare.  I thought they looked old fashioned and short.  And I have been wearing these jeans for about 3 years.  Inversely, I used to wear short shirts, and now all I can think about is the 1990s with weird midriff shirts.  Interesting how opinions change with society and how one thing can be weird one year, and "all the rage" the next.

My group of friends and I all dress every similar, and I think we all wish to communicate similar things.  We are all different (obviously) so our styles are going to be different too.  But we all dress to express ourselves. When it comes down to it, I hope that my clothes communicate confidence, flattery, femininity, simplicity (but show that I do make an effort) and comfort.

I care because it is a simple yet very prominent way to express my style in a way people can relate.

Interpreting Technologies

The form of technology I can not go day to day without is my cell phone.  I have had a cell phone literally since I was in 7th grade because my friends and I would go on bike rides (it was a safety thing).  Now, I use it for communication while at school and at home, but that initial purpose of making sure I have a way out is still there.  Hence, I use it to communicate, but it is not just for catching up with friends.

The other day I was at home, and I was about to go out shopping.  My parents were out and I was enjoying some time alone.  I got into my car and realized my phone was still on my night stand.  I sat there, contemplating if I needed it.  No one was going to call me, and I did not really have anyone to call.  And besides, I would need to get out of the car, weave around the kayaks and other cars in the garage to get back inside.  I already set the house alarm and the dogs probably accepted I had left- I didn't want toy with their emotions anymore.  But then I began to think of how I felt without it.  I then worried that I could get into a situation where I needed it.  And what if someone needed me?  I hated not having it, and I went back in the house and got it.

So, the point of my story is that without it, I felt less safe.  I had the outlook like the world was a more harmful place.  I felt exposed and yet cut off from the world.  I could have gone the entire trip (I went no farther than about 20 minutes from my house), not realized I had left my phone, and been fine.  But because I knew I didn't have it, I began worrying about car accidents, or other emergencies where I would need it.  I also wondered what my parents would think if they could not get a hold of me.  They are by no means overprotective, but they know by now it would be odd for me not to have it on while I was home.  All of these things I consider...

Aside from safety, I feel totally alone without my phone.  This time last year, my phone was out of commission, and I panicked.  We just had a death in the family, so I could not talk to anyone about that, and my birthday was coming, and I was afraid I could talk to no one then.   I became so used to my phone, it was a terrible feeling to know I could not reach my family instantaneously.  I felt less safe and more alone.

My life has changed since I really got used to using my phone (which was not until high school, really) and now without it, I feel less safe and more alone. 

Reading Places

One of the most profound centers for communication, for me, is in the dorm.  It may not be the most excting place, but it a huge part of college life when you are living in it.  Also, I am an Resident Advisor, so part of my job is mandating and encouraging this conversation in the hall.

We communicate to the residents through many media texts, but most is through face-to-face talking.  We have white boards to write messages, and flyers we publish, and I will print surveys, but we get the most feedback when we go and physically talk to people.  This really is beneficial because part of being an RA is letting the residents know I am approachable and that I am not out to police the hallway. 

What is the best aspect of the dorms is that it has a certain feel to it- everyone is living there, so right from the start we have something in common.  The dorms communicate a sense of security and, to a certain extent, independence.  Some people may not agree with the regulations, but there is no doubt that they are made safe.  

This form of communication is not to merely speak to those around you.  It is to build a comfortable community that makes the college experience for the girls a memorable one.  

Something that affected me greatly was when I was a freshman moving in to the dorms was that I was shocked to see my door had my name and my roommates names on the door.  Instantly, my perception of the dorm changed.  It was more like a summer camp feel that an apartment building, and I knew it was going to be more personal than I thought.  Also the halls were decorated, making it more fun and homey. ( I also think this has more of an effect on girls than guys in this instance.  Correct me if I am wrong. I don't know if they take the time to think about the influence).

Now that I am the one making the door tags and decorating the halls, I am able to influence others perceptions of the dorms as well.  It is the little ways we communicate through the time we put into making the halls comfortable and fun that make such a difference.  We all enjoy ,making them, and I don't think the residents know how disappointing it is when they are torn down (Really. Stop doing that!).

I know that these little messages, decorations and just saying hi to people in the halls makes a difference.  It was something I appreciated when I was a resident, and now I can appreciate the outcome of it more now that I am an advisor.  

Connecting with Celebrities

This post seems fitting to write tonight, as I just got back from seeing He's Just Not That Into You, and I am now watching one of my top favorite movies, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.  First off, don't judge me!

What is interesting is that after being at the theaters, those of us that went were talking equally about the celebrities in it than the actual plot of the film.  Whether we were talking about how much we love Jennifer Aniston, or dislike Ben Affleck (he looks like Scott Peterson to me, you know, the guy who killed his wife and unborn kid and then put on the whole "I miss her" front), or how we are intrigued by Justin Long.  These "judgments" are not even based off of anything substantial- we are judging them by how the media portrays them, or the roles they play, or even just by how the look!  The point is, we connect with the celebrities based off of no personal encounters- just by what they say, what they are assumed to be doing, or how well they do their job that we believe they are or are not like their characters.  

When it comes to the celebrities I follow, I can not think of just one.  However, beginning in 8th grade, I followed Orlando Bloom religiously (yes, I was one of those girls, just slightly less crazy I promise.  and again, don't judge), but I have many celebrities I follow, especially now that Mr. Bloom isn't doing much of anything...at all.  (I'm not bitter.)

Although I am slightly embarrassed about writing a blog about Orlando Bloom, there is a reason behind it.  I followed his films just as much as other obsessed fan girls, but I always felt my "love" for him was more realistic and less fanatic/obsessive/insane.  I know that sounds really scary calling it "realistic" but I say that because it was not based off of what he looked like (ok, part of it was) but more of what his film choices were and how we handled himself during press junkets.  I cared about what he said, and what he thought about this movies and how to handled his personal life.  I never really cared about who he was dating or what he looked like as he was leaving a restaurant.  In fact, I grew to like him more when he made a point not to get mixed up with the gossip and paparazzi buzz. I know that would be a big issue with me if I was in a position similar to his.  I liked that was was so modest and exciting about his career.  I had a few posters of him on my wall, but it was not anywhere near what it could have been- I did not submit portrait drawings to magazines or create websites.

Still, I was a Orlando Bloom fan, and to the world that meant crazy-obsessed fan girl who was subject to many eye-rolls. That being said, I still checked up on websites to see what he was doing, or if there were new magazines coming out or new videos to watch.  The Internet was my connection to him, and I know that if I did not have such access to it, it would not have fed my obsession as much as it did.  I would find out when he would be on television, and I would set up a VHS, DVD or DVR (depending on what year it was) to record it.  And yes, I still have all of them...taking up space.  I know a lot of what I saw was pre-scripted, but all the same, I saw he was genuine about what he was talking about, and I liked what I had heard. The media encouraged my imaginary tangible connection to him. 

Something else that fed my interest of him was that I had a friend who was also a fan of Lord of the Rings and we would share our enthusiasm.  We could share the information we found, and the shared passion about the film (which was turning into a passion for all films) made our own excitement stronger. 

I know that it was Orlando's appearance that intrigued me in Lord of the Rings, and I was sold in Pirates of the Caribbean, but it was what I witnessed though his interviews and movie choices that kept me coming back.  The media helped me to keep returning as well, because the fans demanded it!

Escaping

As addressed in previous posts, the media provides a way for its users to escape.  Although I do not fully agree with the idea that media allows one to escape reality, I do think it provides a distraction, or at least adverts our attention enough that we momentarily and harmlessly forget about certain realities of our lives.  

I use the media mainly as a form of entertainment- an entertainment that can affect my mood easily.  Whether the media is news, movies or music, it has an influence on my own reality.

Applying escapism to the news, I think it does the opposite.  Watching, reading or listening to the news can actually bring me down to reality.  Especially with all the news focusing on the downfall of the economy, it snaps be back into the idea that the world is not always the happiest place.  What is said on the news is open to interpretation and the "reality" can be misrepresented.  However, it still forces me to look beyond my student and personal life, and observe the big picture.

That is where entertainment media comes in, and not just for me.  I am not alone when I say music and movies can alter my mood, and knowing this, I will use it for that purpose intentionally.  

Whether or not this is a healthy habit depends on the extremity that I use it.  Knowing the difference between movies and the emotions they evoke and reality is important.  I don't use the media to "escape" like a drug addict uses crack (too much of an extreme example?), but I do get in moods to watch films, or jump in the car, turn up the music and roll down the windows or to even relax and read a good book.  However, when I think of the main reasons I use these forms of media, it is to entertain and enjoy the story.  Yes, it does mean you get engrossed in the story of the media, and not reality, but it doesn't mean you have to escape to enjoy it.

One last thought- movies can also bring me down to reality.  Movies that are either documentaries or historical depictions can educate and provoke emotions associate with the time.  They are a interpretation of reality, and may not be entirealy based off of facts. It can, however, still give insight to the emotions of Titanic, or World War II, or just how unhealthy a super-sized burger is.  They provoke thought about a reality (looking at a larger picture) while entertaining us.  

Identifying with Music- Emotions

I music I listen to varies but the effect is all the same.  I am very specific about what I like, and what I don't and it is based on the emotions they evoke.  The music I listen to tends to be upbeat music that I can sing and dance too.  Otherwise, they are soundtracks to my favorite films that remind me of that film, and the time period in my life that I watched it.  Where I was, who I was with, and what I thought of the film all are evoked with the music of a soundtrack.  And I am not always talking about songs with lyrics, but instrumentals.  I love instrumental music.  It may be from my history in band, but I really appreciate the composition of different instruments to make one sound. 

The question of what makes music mine is interesting, because although I refer to it as my CD, or my music, it is not mine.  It was created by others that I have adopted.  But now as I consider it as "mine" and what makes it this way, it is just what I said above.  It is mine because it relates to me in a way that is unique against everyone else.  Others may have the same interest, but they do not listen to it for the exact reasons I do.  The music I listen to is generally happy, and no doubt it makes others happy too, but the memories or emotions they evoke are not the same. No one's playlist of favorite music is going to be exactly like mine.

Music also fits into my life in more ways than one would think.  I think it starts with learning music in school.  Playing an instrument and the knowledge acquired from that does play in everyday life.  Terms learned, or references noted are important, and it is exciting when I know what they mean.  I am quite proud I can read music and play instruments. Just this year, I was shocked when people didn't know who John Phillip Sousa was (he composed Stars and Stripes Forever, our national march!) And yes, that is a trivial bit of information, but it is still a big part of America's history, and I learned it from playing it in band class! Also, I have developed rhythm and I can use it whether it is in exercising (I work out to the tempo of the song) or playing the Wii Fit version of Step really well.  It's a great talent...I know.  Marching Band had some long-term affect on me!

When it comes to my friends, the type of music we listen to does not really affect our friendship.  I have many friends who love country music or rap (which I have little tolerance for) or who like only oldies.  However, we relate on how music makes us feel.  Because of this, I enjoy listening to music with friends, but I enjoy it most when I am alone, so I can control the playlist and not worry if others are satisfied.  Music does make a road trip though if everyone can enjoy similar music.

I have a select amount of songs that I consider to be my favorite songs, and my mom brought up a good point one day: What is it about a song that makes it your favorite over the rest.  It is all music, so what makes it so special or unique?  What is interesting is that most of my favorite songs are songs I had to look up the lyrics to because I could not really understand them ("Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse, "Dropped" by Phantom Planet, "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay and "Australia" by The Shins).  I think what made them the favorites was a combination of the tune, tempo and the lyrics I was so proud I learned.  All of them are songs I could sing along with, especially after I looked up lyrics!  I listen to them the most in the car or on my sound dock, which gives it the best quality. And I put my favorites on shuffle so I get a good mix to fit my emotions that day, or the emotions I want to feel.  Nothing puts me in a better mood after a rough day than listening to happy, upbeat songs- I like being in a good mood, and sometimes it just takes a good bit of music to do so.